


The Demon Inside

by samlapiana



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-19 08:12:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 21,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9429287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samlapiana/pseuds/samlapiana
Summary: You were coming home from your job as a nurse when everything changed. Your body was no longer your own. Two brothers save you and take you in, but you notice that your life feels much different...One of the brothers sees through your tough exterior. Can you face your fear of losing him and let him in?





	1. Not in Control

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think or if you have any requests!

The pain was unbearable. It was constant, too. It had been 195 days since your body was taken from you. Something evil lived inside you now, and you had no control over it. You saw yourself do unspeakable things; murder...torture...your hands had killed innocent people.

195 days ago you were walking down the street on your way home from your job as a labor and delivery nurse at a hospital in downtown Cincinnati. You lived only a few blocks away so you always just brought your pepper spray with you for safety and walked to and from work to avoid the hassles of parking at the giant hospital. You remember seeing a strange pillar of black smoke emerge from a sewer grate nearby, coming towards you. Pepper spray wasn't going to work. Before you had time to panic, the smoke forced your mouth open an entered your body. Everything went black after that.

When you came to, you felt paralyzed. No matter how much you tried to move your arms and legs, nothing happened. You began to panic, then heard your own voice say, "Don't fight me, Y/N...I'm here to stay."

You had no idea what was happening, but you knew that this thing inside you was in control. It held you back painfully, and half the time it felt like you were being suffocated. It would look in a mirror and your reflection would stare back at you, but instead of your y/e/c eyes, it would just be pitch black staring back at you. The thing took you away from your home and your life and did whatever it wanted, which was usually violent.

There were a few times you were able to break through the thing's hold on you. You would be able to make your arm move or change the direction of your eyes. It knew right away, though, and would just suppress you even more or make you go unconscious for days.

Over six months later, you were still stuck inside your own body, unable to move. That day the thing inside you had taken you to an abandoned warehouse where it thought it would be meeting whoever it was that gave it orders. It walked into the large open space and stood in the middle of the room where one overhead light was on, creating a makeshift spotlight. The thing looked angrily at the watch that was still on your wrist--the gold one your mom had given you when you graduated from college.

"Damn it, Crowley, where are you?" You heard your voice ask to no one. The thing started to walk toward the exit but was stopped by some invisible force before it even got out of the light shining from above. "What the hell?" You felt it move your eyes up, looking toward the ceiling. Painted above you on the high ceiling was a circle with a star in it and some strange symbols.

"It's a devils' trap. You ain't goin' anywhere," you heard from behind you. The thing turned around and you saw two men standing before you: one tall with shaggy hair and hazel eyes; one a little shorter with hair cut and styled short with green eyes.

"Ah...the Winchester brothers," you heard yourself say.

"That's right. And you're gonna tell us exactly what you're doing here," the taller one said. It was different from the first voice so you knew it must have been the other one that spoke first.

"What makes you think I'm going to tell you anything?" You said.

"'Cause we're gonna make it hurt," the shorter one said.

An hour later you were tied to a chair, the thing inside you writhing in pain from the water the Winchesters threw on you. Though you couldn't feel the pain the thing was feeling, it was raising hell for you, making you go in and out of consciousness.

"ARGH I already told you everything I know!" You yelled. "Crowley wanted me to find you and get as much information as I could about the demon tablet and where that little bitch is hiding it."

"That little 'bitch's' name is Kevin. And maybe you should show him some respect. He is a prophet of the Lord, you know," the taller one said.

You felt yourself spit in the Winchester's direction.

"Alright, Sammy, I think we've gotten everything we can outta this one. Let's get this over with," the shorter one said. The taller one--Sammy, apparently--started reciting something in Latin. You felt the thing inside you fill with fear. You saw a mental image of the one it was supposed to meet up with--Crowley--and knew that the thing was afraid of going back to see him after what just happened.

"Wait!" You yelled. Sam stoped chanting momentarily. "The girl inside me is dead, anyway. You may as well use your knife on me," you said. You could tell the thing would rather die than go wherever it was going to go. You began fighting the thing, trying to yell out to the boys that it was lying, but nothing happened.

Sam only paused for a moment before continuing his Latin chant. You felt the thing begin to thrash around wildly before everything went black.

\-------------------------

"Don't worry, Sam, Crowley's not gonna be able to find Kevin," you heard the shorter brother say. Your eyes were closed and your head was against your chest. You realized then that your body was your own again. However, having that thing inside you for so long had made you weak, and you struggled to try to lift your head.

"Yeah, I just don't want to let him down again," you heard Sam say. "Alright, let's get rid of the body and get out of here."

You started to panic, still unable to move. With all your strength you lifted your head, looking directly into the hazel eyes of the taller Winchester before letting your head fall to your chest again.

"Oh, God, Dean! She's still alive!" He said.

"Shit. Get her untied, Sammy! We have to see if she's hurt," the other brother--Dean, you now knew-said, rushing toward you.

You felt Dean take your head in his hands, bringing your eyes to meet his again and saying, "Listen, sweetheart, you're going to be okay. We're gonna to help you." You felt yourself smile lightly with the last bit of your strength, then succumbed to the blackness of unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

You woke up but kept your eyes closed, reveling in the comfort of the bed beneath you. It had been so long since you laid in a bed--the thing that was inside you never slept. You took a quick assessment of your body--keeping your eyes closed--checking to see if you had any injuries or any broken bones. You came to the conclusion that you didn't have any big injuries--you were just tired and weak. You snuggled deeper into the scratchy blanket before realizing you didn't know where you were. Your eyes flew open, and you saw a torso next to you. You followed it up, seeing that it belonged to the shorter brother--Dean, if you remembered correctly. Dean was sitting on the bed next to you with his computer on his lap. He felt you stir and looked at you, his bright green eyes meeting yours.

"Hey there, sleepyhead," he said, a half-smile on his face.

You sat up quickly, panicked, before you felt your head start swimming.

"Whoa, whoa, take it easy. You've been through a lot," Dean said, grabbing onto your arm before you fell over. You sat back against the headboard of the bed and let out a big sigh.

"Wh-where am I?" You asked, rubbing your temples that were pounding.

"Depends on what kind of answer you're looking for," Dean said.

"Let's start with where I am in in general," you said, cocking an eyebrow at him.

Dean chuckled a little at your expression. "You're in Lebanon, Kansas."

"Kansas...wow," you replied.

"Yeah. And the room you're in is in a bunker, which is where my little brother and I live."

"A bunker? Like with rations and bottles of water for if we get bombed?" You asked, confused.

Dean smiled. "No. It's more like a bunker to protect against things like what was inside of you. Speaking of which...what do you remember?"

You thought back through the last 195 days. Images flashed through your mind: traveling around, plotting evil, your own hands killing people...your eyes widened. You gasped, bringing a hand to your mouth. You felt tears well up in your eyes. "No..."

"What is it?" Dean asked, concern in his eyes.

"They-they're dead...they're all dead!" You yelled, crumbling into yourself. You laid there for only a moment before you felt warm arms wrap around you as Dean pulled you into his lap, stroking your hair and shushing your cries.

"It's gonna be okay, I promise," he said, rocking you back and forth. "Hey," he pulled your face up to look at him. "Can you tell me your name, darlin'?"

"Y/N," you managed to say between sobs.

"Y/N. That's a beautiful name. My name's Dean, in case you didn't hear. Y/N, it's gonna be okay," he said, looking into your eyes deeply.

"Dean...I-I...I killed them," you said, shaking your head and gripping your arms tightly around your middle.

"Y/N, you didn't kill anyone. That thing inside you--that was a demon. You had no control over what that demon did," Dean said, placing his hand on your cheek.

"But I was there. I watched...i-it...it killed my family," you said, new sobs racking your body.

Dean squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Oh, Y/N, I'm so sorry," he said as he pulled you close to him in a tight embrace.

You stayed like that for a while. You thought about your parents. They were so kind and loving, and they always supported you in everything you did. Then there was your sister, Jenny. She was in college and having the time of her life. Images flashed through your head of their deaths. Jenny had been home for a school break and you had come in to see them all eating dinner. They were all happy to see you until they saw you pull out a knife and begin stabbing them. After it was over, you heard your voice say, "There, now there's no one to come looking for you." The thing had killed them just so it would be more convenient.

As the sobs subsided you heard a light knock on the door. You and Dean looked up and saw Sam poke his head in. Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean, apparently at the position you were in. Dean shook his head slightly, apparently using some sort of unspoken language between the two of them.

"So, hey, I made dinner and I just wanted to see if you guys are hungry," Sam said. As if on cue, your stomach rumbled loudly. You wiped your tears and decided to stop being a blubbering mess. You took a deep breath and looked at Dean, a broken smile on your face.

"That sounds great," you said, getting off the bed. You looked down and noticed you were in an oversized tee shirt and a pair of boxer shorts that must have been one of the boys'. You didn't even know how long you had been out after they got the thing out of you. You shook your head a little, focusing on now instead. You took a step and wobbled, your legs still weak from what your body had been through. Sam reached out as if to grab you in case you fell, but you continued past him through the doorway.

You didn't know where you were going, but followed the smell of pizza down a long hallway and into a big kitchen. You sat down at the table and grabbed a slice of the frozen pizza Sam had made. The boys followed you in to the kitchen, looking at you as if you were an alien.

"Well, come on, eat!" You said. You just wanted to get their eyes off you so you could continue to compose yourself. They both sat down and took a piece of pizza.

You reached your hand across the table to Sam and said, "By the way, I'm Y/N." Sam took your hand carefully and shook it.

"Sam," he responded, one eyebrow raised and a slight smile on his face.

The rest of the dinner was eaten in silence, the boys wary of your emotions and you just trying to take life one step at a time. Step one: get through this meal. Step two: figure out what the hell happened to you.

 


	3. Chapter 3

"A demon? Seriously?" You asked, looking between Sam and Dean.

"Unfortunately, we're completely serious," Sam replied.

"I was possessed by a demon. Like _The Exorcist_?"

"Yeah, but minus all the green puke," Dean said, laughing at his own joke. Sam shot him a look.

Dean cleared his throat. "Yeah, so, not like that movie, but yeah, demons can possess anyone at any time unless they're wearing one of these symbols," Dean said has he pulled the collar of his shirt down. It revealed a tattoo of a star inside a flaming circle.

"What is that?" You asked, walking towards Dean and unconsciously running your fingers over the tattoo. He shivered a little at your touch.

"It's an anti-possession tattoo. I've got one, too," Sam said, pulling his own shirt down to reveal an identical tattoo.

You looked back at Sam to see his tattoo, then turned your head back to Dean. He was looking down at you with intensity. You realized then that your hand was still on his chest and quickly pulled it back.

You sucked in a deep breath. "So should I get one of these?" You asked.

"You'll need to get a tat eventually," Dean said, nodding his head. "But for now, just keep this on, and you should be fine."

Dean held out a leather bracelet with a silver charm on it. The charm was the symbol they had as a tattoo. You lifted your wrist and Dean put the bracelet on you, his fingers brushing lightly over yours as he pulled his hands away. You smiled at him. "Thank you," you said. Dean gave you a half-smile.

"You seem to be taking this pretty well," Sam said.

"Well, it's not like it's hard to believe after spending over 6 months trapped in your own body," you replied.

"There's more," Sam said.

"More? Like what?" You asked.

"Like werewolves, angels, vampires and ghosts 'more'." Dean added.

You nodded your head, taking it all in. "Huh. Well guess I have a lot to learn," you said.

Dean smiled at you, trying not to laugh.

"What?" You asked, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He laughed out loud, no longer holding it back. "I'm sorry, it's just funny! People are usually so freaked out by this stuff and you're just...so calm," Dean said, laughing throughout the sentence.

You kept your face emotionless and turned to Sam. "Is there a way to turn him off?"

"I haven't figured one out yet."

You turned back to Dean, putting your hands on your hips.

"Listen here, you green-eyed butthead. You may think it's funny, but I am not about to let some demon or vampire or whatever the fuck else get the jump on me again. So you are going to teach me, got it?" You said, walking toward him all stern as you said it.

Dean stopped laughing. "Y-yeah, okay," he replied, looking sheepish.

"Good. Let's get to work." You walked out of the kitchen and toward the library, passing Sam--who was standing with his mouth wide open as you went.

"Dude, she schooled you," you heard him say to Dean.

"Did she just call me a butthead?" Dean asks. You smile to yourself and take a seat at the table in the big library, ready to find out more about everything you never knew.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_You kicked down the door to your childhood home. You walked through the foyer and down the hall to the dining room where you saw your parents and sister sitting at the table. Their expressions were worried at the sound they heard, but they were relieved when they saw it was you._

_"Y/N, honey, what a surprise! Are you okay? We heard a loud bang," your mom said, standing up and coming over to greet you._

_"I'm fine, Mom," you heard yourself say in an extra-sweet voice._

_"Well that's good, sweetheart. Why don't you join us for dinner? Jenny was just telling us about her classes this semester," your dad said._

_"Yeah, how much they suck," Jenny added, laughing._

_"You know, I'd love to join you, but I can't stay long," you said. You felt yourself pull a knife out of the waistband of your jeans._

_No!_

_You couldn't stop yourself. You plunged the knife deep into your mother's abdomen and she crumbled to the ground._

_"Y/N, what are you doing?!?" Your dad asked, panicking._

_"Just tying up some loose ends," you said, walking up to him and quickly slashing his throat. You dropped the knife to the ground._

_Jenny screamed. She turned to you with her eyes wide and tears spilling over._

_"Y/N, please, don't do this! This isn't you!" she begged._

_You screamed from within yourself for the thing to spare her, but it was of no use._

_"You're right, it's not. Goodbye, Jenny," you said. You snapped her neck._

"NO!!!"

"Y/N, wake up! It's just a nightmare! You're okay!" you heard Dean's voice say. You felt his big hands on your shoulders trying to shake you awake.

You opened your eyes and they landed on Dean, who was kneeling on the bed next to you and looking back and forth between your eyes, his hands still on your shoulders.

"D-Dean?"

"Yeah, it's me, darlin'. You're okay. It was just a dream," he said, sitting on the bed and releasing your shoulders.

You took a deep breath and leaned back against he headboard, rubbing your hands across your face that was covered in sweat.

"Thanks for waking me up, Dean, but I'm fine. I--I just need to go get a glass of water or something," you said, starting to get up from the bed.

Dean grasped your arm. "Are you sure you're okay? That didn't exactly seem like a dream filled with daisies," he said.

"I'm fine, really," you said, gently pulling your arm away from him. He looked at you with intensity, but relaxed, letting you go. You could tell he didn't believe you. He continued to look at you with his gorgeous green eyes. You bit your lip and shifted your eyes away from his. Your heart sped up a bit from the intensity of his stare. There was a loud banging sound and you both turned around as you heard Sam run into the door frame of your room. He looked to be half asleep and his hair was sticking up in all directions.

"Ouch! S'everything okay? I heard screaming," he said, looking around the room wildly. He was holding a candlestick you could only assume he found on his way to your room. You had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing out loud.

"Yeah, everything's fine, Sammy. Go back to bed," Dean said, chuckling.

"Yeah--okay, s'okay," Sam said, his eyes mostly closed as he turned around to return to his room.

"Wow, remind me never to rely on him if there's a crisis in the middle of the night," you said, finally letting out the laughs you were holding back.

"Yeah, well, he may be more responsive if insted of a loud noise a beautiful girl like you was waking him up in the middle of the night," Dean replied. You felt a blush creep up your neck. You shifted awkwardly on your feet, unsure of what to say.

"Well, goodnight, Dean. And thanks," you said, climbing back under your covers.

"Goodnight, Y/N." Dean reached out as if he wanted to touch you, but let his hand drop midair. He smiled tightly and turned on his heel, leaving you alone to deal with the aftermath of your memories. You laid back in bed knowing you wouldn't be sleeping anymore that night.

  
The next morning you woke feeling groggy and exhausted. Sleep had evaded you all night. You rolled out of bed like a zombie and walked to the bathroom. You quickly showered, and when you got back to your room you found a clean white v-neck on your bed. You put that on along with the jeans the boys had found you in which were covered in rips and tears from the demon's activities. You decided it was definitely time for a shopping trip.

You followed the smell of coffee down the hall and to the kitchen.

"Morning, Y/N," Sam said as you walked into the kitchen.

You looked at Sam and tried not to laugh as you pictured him with his hair sticking up everywhere, half-asleep like he was last night.

"What's that look for?" He asked, handing you a mug filled with steaming coffee.

"Oh, nothing, just remembering something funny," you said, breathing in the perfect aroma of the coffee as the steam hit your face. "God, I needed this. Thanks."

"No problem. Dean's still asleep, but did you have anything you wanted to do today?" Sam asked, leaning against the counter and sipping his own coffee.

"Well, I think these jeans have seen better days. And while yours and Dean's tee shirts are comfy, they're a little big," you said, grabbing the hem of your shirt and pulling it out to show how large it was on you.

"Yeah, you could probably use some new clothes," Sam responded.

"Yeah. So I figured I could go get some stuff to hold me over, then start trying to figure out how I'm gonna get back home," you said.

"Get back home?" Dean asked, walking into the kitchen. He was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and you couldn't help but think of how cute he looked with his short hair sticking up every which way.

"Yeah, I gotta go back to Cincinnati sometime," you said, sighing. Not that there's anyone there to go back to...

Dean furrowed his eyebrows and walked over to stand next to Sam. "Well, just so you know, Y/N, you don't have to leave on our account. We have plenty of room here, and we know you've been through a lot. We're happy to have you."

Sam didn't say anything and Dean elbowed him in the ribs. "Ow!--Uh yeah, Y/N, stay as long as you want," he said, rubbing the spot Dean just thrust his elbow. He looked confused, as if Dean didn't usually show this kind of hospitality.

You gave them a half-smile, chuckling at their antics. "How about we just play it by ear for now?" You said, brushing past them and walking into the library. As soon as you were out of sight, you closed your eyes and frowned. The offer was sweet, and though staying sounded amazing, you didn't want to be some helpless little girl who had to be taken care of because her family was dead.

 


	5. Chapter 5

After a quick learning session the boys had taken you shopping. You were able to get plenty of jeans, tees, undergarments, pajamas, and even some nicer outfits in case you needed them. What you bought filled up most of the closet in the room Sam and Dean had told you to stay in.

Though the brothers had given you a lot of information about all the monsters out there and what kills them, you still had a lot to learn. You sat down at the table in the vast library with the boys after your clothes shopping trip, ready to learn more.

"So, I have a question," you said, looking between the two.

"Shoot," Sam responded.

"Who is this Kevin I heard you talking about with the demon?"

Sam and Dean looked at each other, clearly wary of bringing you into the situation with Kevin.

"It's a pretty long story..." Dean began.

"I've got nothin' but time," you said, leaning back in your chair and folding your arms.

Sam sighed. "Well, Kevin Tran is really just a kid whose life changed when we found the Word of God," he explained.

"The Word of God? Like the Bible?" You asked.

"More like a super old hunk of rock with writing on it. Not just the Word of God. It's _The_ Word of God. The original," Dean said.

"Okay...so what does that have to do with Kevin Tran?" You asked, trying to wrap your head around it all.

"Well Kevin is a prophet. He can read the Word of God. So when Dean and I cracked open the first tablet we found, his instincts sort of kicked in and he found us," Sam explained.

"First tablet? As in there is more than one?"

"Yeah. The first was for Leviathan, which we told you about," Sam said. You nodded, remembering the conversation about the wretched creatures. "The second is the demon tablet, which got split in two. Crowley is after the other half," Sam continued.

"I remember. That demon was obsessed with finding Kevin so Crowley could get to it. Not that I had any idea what the demon's thoughts meant at the time."

"I bet. So Kevin's hidden, and he's trying to translate our half of the tablet. If he can, we may be able to close the gates of hell forever," Sam explained.

"Forever? So no more demon possession?" You asked.

"That's the hope," Dean said. "We want to keep those bastards where they belong."

You felt a weird twinge of anger at what Dean said. You furrowed your brows, trying to think of why that would make you mad. Of course you want the gates of hell closed. _So why am I mad?_ You thought.

Sam noticed your expression. "Everything okay, Y/N?"

"Yeah...I was just thinking," you replied, shaking off the weird feelings. "So, while Kevin translates the tablet, what have you guys been doing?" You asked.

"Trying to keep demons off our trail, mostly. Plus our normal hunts," Dean said.

"Well that's good. Someone's gotta stop the demons from doing what happened to me."

"You know, you could help stop them," Sam said. You gave him a shocked expression. 

"Me? Really?" You asked. You were already excited at the thought.

"Dude!" Dean said, shooting Sam daggers with his eyes.

"What?" Sam asked, feigning innocence.

"Yeah, what, Dean?" You asked turning toward him with your hands on your hips.

"Okay let's not get our panties in a bunch little lady," Dean replied, rolling his eyes.

"Hmph." You made the sound as his 'little lady' and 'panties' comment.

"It's just not safe, Y/N," Dean said, his eyes softening.

"Not safe? I rode around with a demon for over six months, Dean! Don't you think I'm a little past 'not safe'?" You said.

"She has a point, man," Sam added.

Dean gave Sam a look and Sam pursed his lips, giving Dean a bitch face. "Dean, how many people have you seen live through being possessed, let alone come back from it this quickly? Y/N's strong, Dean. You know that. And besides, it's not like everything's been easy lately. We could use another set of hands," Sam defended. Dean looked between the two of you, knowing he wasn't going to win the fight.

"Arrrgh," Dean said. "Fine. But we're training you. A little pipsqueak like you won't last a minute against the big bads."

You rolled you eyes. "I'm a quick learner," you said, giving Dean a big fake smile.

 


	6. Chapter 6

_Torture. It was the only way to describe what you were feeling. It felt like the skin was being melted off your body and every bone was being broken. And the heat...it was unbearable. You tried to open your eyes but saw only blackness. You heard a voice whisper in your ear, "You've failed him, and this is what you get." The voice chilled you to the bone, and you tried to scream out, needing to escape..._

You jolted up in bed, tears running down your face and panting. You could still feel the remnants of the pain from the torture, and threw the covers off to make sure your body was still in tact.

"Y/N!"

You jumped at the sound of your name, but looked to see that Dean was standing in your doorway, light coming in behind him from the hall. You put your hand on your heart, inhaling deeply to try to slow your breathing.

"I didn't mean to scare you, but I heard you scream again, and I just wanted to make sure you're okay," Dean said. He was wearing a pair of black sweatpants that rode low on his hips, and had no shirt on. You felt your eyes graze over his chiseled chest, and were distracted momentarily from the remnants of your dream...

"Y/N?"

You jumped again, your eyes snapping back to Dean's face. You put your hand on your forehead, rubbing it down your face and wiping the tears that were starting to dry. "Y-yeah, Dean, I'm fine," you said, feeling anything but.

"Darlin'...I know what fine looks like, and that ain't it," Dean said, walking towards your bed.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Being vulnerable was never really a strong point for you. With the exception of remembering the death of your family, you'd never broken down in front of anyone. Not even on your worst days before the demon took you.

"Listen, I get it. I don't like to talk about my feelings and shit either. But maybe if you tell me about the dream it will help," Dean said, taking a seat on the very edge of your bed.

You looked at him and bit your lip as your heart pounded in your chest. _Could I really talk to him about this?_ You continued to stare at him, unsure of what to do.

Dean shook his head a little and smiled lightly. "Look, it's fine, you don't gotta talk to me," he said, getting up to leave the room. He was halfway to the door before you spoke, closing your eyes tight.

"I couldn't see anything."

There was silence, and you opened your eyes to see if Dean had already left. He had stopped in his tracks, and turned to face you with intrigued eyes.

"It was like I could feel, hear, even smell everything that was happening, but I have no idea where I was," you continued.

Dean walked toward your bed once more and sat down. You brought your knees up to your chest, hugging them to you.

"What happened?" Dean asked.

"It felt so real. The pain was...was like nothing I've ever felt before. It smelled like burning flesh and hair, and it felt like I had a million little torches lighting up my body," you replied.

Dean shivered a little. "You said you couldn't see where you were, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's just the what you're describing sounds like Hell. And I don't mean figuratively," Dean said, shaking his head.

You shook your head a little in confusion. "I'm sorry, you know what hell is like?"

"Yeah...I've kinda been there," Dean said, shrugging it off as if it was no big deal. Your eyes opened wide. There was a silence as you waited for him to elaborate. When he didn't you said, "Okay, so have I lost my mind or are you a ghost or..."

Dean chuckled lightly. "You're not crazy and I'm not a ghost. I came back. See, I made a deal with a demon so I could save Sammy. It brought him back from the dead for the price of my soul. Hellhound came to collect and I ended up in Hell. Sammy tried everything to get me out, but in the end it was an angel that pulled me out of The Pit."

You stared at Dean, trying to take in everything he just told you. He told the story like it was just another day, when in reality he had just told you that both he and his brother had died and come back to life. And that he had died to save Sam. _Not exactly just another day_ , you thought.

"Okay, I am going to just push all that aside for a moment, seeing as it's insane," you said, barely even blinking. Dean laughed at your expression. "So you think what I was describing sounds like Hell?"

"Yeah, it does," Dean replied.

"But _I've_ never been there so how could I even dream about it?" You asked.

"I don't know, Y/N. We'll have to ask Sammy what he thinks in the morning. We could talk to Cas, too."

"Cas?" You asked, raising your eyebrows.

"Uh, yeah. Castiel. That's the angel that pulled me from Hell. He's one of the good ones," Dean replied. You tried not to think of the irony in that statement.

There was a moment of silence as you thought more about what he said. "Well, if you're okay now...goodnight," Dean said, getting up and heading toward the door. You began to panic, immediately feeling the pain and fear from the dream returning.

"D-Dean?" You said hesitantly. Dean turned around.

"I know we don't know each other that well and this is kind of weird...but would you mind staying in here, at least till I fall asleep?" You didn't want to say that it was because you were scared, because you knew you would be embarrassed.

Dean smiled his half-smile and walked back toward your bed. "Scooch," he said, making a 'move over' motion with his hands and crawling under the covers with you. You smiled, relieved that he was willing to stay with you. You laid next to each other, your arms the only part of you that were touching. The space under the covers became warm quickly, and you felt yourself already starting to drift off.

"Dean..." you said, already half asleep.

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"Thank you," you said. You closed your eyes fully, feeling safe as sleep pulled you under.

  
Dean

Dean listened as your breathing became even and he knew you had fallen asleep. He thought about the description of your dream: the burning, the smells and sounds...it brought back memories of his time in Hell. He wondered how you could be experiencing such vivid dreams of somewhere you had never been. Dean contemplated it having something to do with the demon that had possessed you. _Better leave that question for tomorrow_ , he thought.

Dean let your rhythmic breathing lull him to sleep. After what seemed like only minutes he awoke to the sound of you whimpering. You started chanting, "No, no, no!" And got progressively louder while thrashing around. Dean rolled over and pulled you to his chest, trying to stop the pain you were experiencing. As soon as he held you in his arms, you seemed to relax, the distress leaving your face and your breathing evening out. Dean relaxed with you, but didn't go back to sleep right away. Instead he found himself watching your face. You looked so peaceful, and Dean felt he couldn't pull his eyes away from your beauty. He lifted a hand and gently tucked a strand of y/h/c hair that had fallen on your face behind your ear. He let his hand linger there for a moment.

Dean shook his head. _Damn, I'm being creepy_ , he thought. He pulled his hand from you and closed his eyes. He tried not to think about his growing feelings for you. _I just met this chick. This is not what I do_. Dean pushed the thoughts away and urged himself to go to sleep again.

You stirred a few more times in the night, but each time Dean would pull you tight to him and you would relax. Eventually, Dean felt himself falling into a dreamless sleep of his own, a smile he didn't quite understand on his face.


	7. Chapter 7

You

You woke feeling more well-rested than you had in months. You began to stir, but felt as though you were trapped. You looked down at your torso and saw two big arms wrapped around you. You noticed then that someone was breathing on your neck deeply and evenly. The night before came back to your memory, and you realized it was Dean holding on to you. You smiled a little bit. You were pretty sure the two of you had gone to sleep barely touching. _Whatever keeps the nightmares away_ , you thought.

You carefully untangled yourself from Dean's arms, trying not to wake him. When you were free you looked back and Dean had rolled over onto his stomach, still fast asleep. You looked at his face and noticed how young and innocent he looked in sleep. You smiled, grabbed some clothes and quietly closed the door behind you. As you let go of the knob, you turned around and ran smack into Sam.

"Agh!" You whisper-yelled, still trying to be quiet and at the same time keep yourself from falling over.

Sam grabbed onto your shoulders to steady you. "What're you doing?" He asked.

"I'm trying to get to the bathroom without having a heart attack," you whispered, putting your hand over your chest dramatically.

Sam rolled his eyes. "I mean, why are you whispering and closing the door to your room so quietly?"

"Oh. Dean's asleep in there," you replied, not thinking of how it would sound to Sam.

Sam got an angry look on his face. "What? Are you kidding me? You guys slept together? God, can't Dean keep it in his pants for once? We just freakin' met you!"

"Shhhh!" You say to Sam, pulling him further down the hall. "We didn't have sex, okay? I was having a nightmare and Dean came in when he heard me scream. Nothing happened. I...I asked him to stay, okay?" You look down and shift awkwardly on your feet, embarrassed at your admission.

"Oh," Sam said, his features softening. "Well that's okay, then. Sorry, I didn't mean to freak out on you. It's just that Dean tends to be a 'one-and-done' kind of guy, and I like having you here. I didn't want things to get weird and for you to leave," he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

You looked up at him and smiled. He was basically a giant, and you literally had to look up to see his face, but he was really just a huge teddy bear. "I like being here, too. And don't worry about Dean. I doubt anything would ever happen between us and even if it did, I wouldn't let it make things awkward for you and me," you said.

Sam smiled. "Good. I know we haven't known each other long, but you already kinda feel like my little sister or something."

Your heart felt full at his words. "I'm glad," you said. "Well, I'm gonna hit the showers. Thanks, Sam." You hesitated for a moment, then threw yourself at him in a big bear hug. Sam chuckled and wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

"Alright, alright, that's enough of that," you said, pushing away from him. You wanted to keep your tough facade on for as long as you could.

Sam chuckled and shook his head as you walked past him down the hall to the bathroom, where you undressed and got under the warm spray of the shower. You took your time, letting the warm water ease your sore muscles. _Wait, why are my muscles sore?_ You figured you must have been thrashing in your sleep a lot. _I hope Dean was able to get some sleep and not get hit in the face too much..._

As you continued to stand under the spray you started humming to yourself. Before you knew it you were swaying on your feet and singing out loud.

_Oh, take your time, don't live too fast_  
Troubles will come and they will pass  
You'll find a woman and you'll find love  
And don't forget, son, there is someone up above

"And be a simple kind of man  
Oh be something you love and understand," you heard someone singing outside the shower.

"Who's there?" You asked, peeking your head outside the shower.

Dean stood there, still in his pajamas. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. It's a classic," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

You rolled your eyes. "Can't a girl get some privacy in the shower around here?" You asked, exasperated.

"Maybe you could if you weren't singing like you were performing at a concert," Dean said, laughing.

You let out a heavy sigh and threw a bar of soap at him. "Get out of here!" You pulled your head back into the shower.

"You have a beautiful voice, by the way," you heard Dean say softly as he walked out the bathroom door. You blushed a little and smiled to yourself, then shook your head, trying to push your feelings away. _What is this man doing to me?_

 


	8. Chapter 8

"Silver will hurt it; silver knife or bullet to the heart will kill it," you said, looking at the picture of a werewolf Sam was holding up from one of the books in the library.

"Good. How 'bout this?" He said, pointing to a picture of a vampire with its fangs showing.

"Please. Inject it with dead man's blood to weaken it. Cut off its head and it's done for," you said, dramatically putting your head down on the table and groaning.

"Hey, this stuff is important. If you want to hunt, you gotta know it," Sam chastised you.

"But I do know it. We've gone over it about a hundred times: werewolves, vampires, ghouls, ghosts, demons, angels, shifters, blah, blah, blah..." you were whining, and you knew it, but you just wanted to do something besides studying all the stuff you had already learned. You didn't want to tell Sam, but you had always done really well in school and everything learning-related came pretty naturally to you. _Who knew it would also apply to learning about monsters..._

"Alright, Sammy, clearly she's had enough, and she's got all the nerdy parts down," Dean said, walking into the library from the kitchen. He leaned down so he was looking you in the eye. "Let's get a little more physical, shall we?" He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

You knew he was joking around, but you felt your heart speed up a bit at the eye contact and what he said. Dean held out his hand to you, which you took. He guided you out of the library and into what appeared to be a training room. There was gym equipment and weights everywhere, plus an open space you assumed was meant for sparring. You scrunched your nose as you noticed what smelled like sweat lingering in the room.

"God, you guys need to get a cleaning lady," you said, holding your nose for effect.

"Yeah, well, darlin', you're a woman, why don't you do some cleaning around here?" Dean replied, clearly challenging you.

"You trying to pick a fight?" You asked, walking toward him slowly.

"Me, pick a fight with you? That wouldn't exactly be fair, would it? You know, considering what a pipsqueak you are and all," He said, matching your slow stride.

"Hmm, I wouldn't underestimate me, Winchester."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm stronger than you think," you said.

"Prove it," Dean said, narrowing his eyes slightly. You narrowed your eyes back at him, and suddenly lunged. Dean saw you coming and braced himself. You ran into him and it was like running into a brick wall, doing no damage to him at all. You stumbled from the impact and felt yourself falling over. Dean grabbed you by the shoulders and steadied you.

"You were saying?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow up.

"Okay, okay, let's go again. I know I can do this," you said, readying yourself again.

Dean chuckled. "Okay, darlin', if you're sure..."

You waited this time, wanting Dean to make the first move. He did, and as he rushed toward you you prepared yourself. You felt a rush of something--you weren't sure what--go through your body and before you knew it Dean was flying backwards and landing on the other side of the room.

You stood there, eyes wide, as you tried to comprehend what just happened. You realized that Dean hadn't gotten up yet and rushed over to him.

"Oh my God, Dean, are you okay? Did you hit your head?" You got down on the floor and put your hands on his face, checking to see if he was conscious. Dean's eyes fluttered open and landed on you.

"Okay, so maybe I underestimated your strength," he said, trying to sit up.

You put a hand on his chest to hold him in place. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, you need to stay there for a second so I can make sure you're okay." You looked into his eyes to see if they were dilated.

Dean gave you a half-smile and said, "Okay, nurse, whatever you say," in a flirtatious tone.

"Ugh you're fine," you said, rolling your eyes and letting Dean get up.

"So...wanna tell me what that was?" Dean asked while standing to his feet.

"I have no idea. I'm so sorry. It was like when I saw you coming I just felt this rush of power and then the next thing I knew you were flying across the room!" You said, pacing the floor.

"Hey, don't worry, Y/N, we'll figure this out. Sam and I are trying to get in contact with Cas and he'll be able to tell us what's going on with you."

You stopped pacing and looked at Dean. His words were reassuring but you could tell by his eyes that he was just as freaked out as you were.

You sighed. "Yeah, you're probably right. I'm sure it's fine," you lied. "I'm just gonna go lay down for a while if you don't mind."

Dean smiled at you, but it didn't reach his eyes, which still shone with concern. "Do you want me to come with you?" He asked.

"No, I'm sure I'll be fine," you said, turning toward the hallway. Though you didn't want to be alone at all in reality, you also didn't want to talk about how scared you were by what was happening to you.

As you laid in your bed, you were able to shut your mind off and drift off to sleep. As you slept, though, your dreams were plagued with memories of killing your family. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get yourself to wake up. You had to watch as over and over you killed everyone you loved with your own hands.

_Y/N, please, don't do this! Your sister pleaded. Y/N! Y/N! Y/N wake up!_ Her voice turned to Sam's as you were being shook awake. You took a deep breath, bringing your mind back to reality. You felt tears well in your eyes at the memories from the dreams. Dean came running into your room. You figured it was because he heard you screaming as well.

Without letting any tears fall you said, "I think I need to get out for a while."

Sam and Dean looked at you with concern in their eyes.

"I know just the place," Dean said, nodding his head.

 


	9. Chapter 9

As Sam, Dean and you walked into the bar, the only thing you knew was that you needed some alcohol. Immediately. You walked straight up to the bartender and ordered two shots of tequila.

"Hey, maybe you oughta slow down there, princess," Dean said, walking up next to you. You gave him a look that said 'don't mess with me' and he backed up, raising his hands in a surrendering gesture. "Okay, okay. You do what you need to do. I'll be right over there," Dean said, pointing to a group of tables across the room where Sam was already chatting up a cute brunette. You nodded and waved your hand dismissively, just wanting to start drinking so you could start forgetting. You downed your two shots and ordered a vodka tonic.

After you had a considerable buzz going, you looked around the bar from your stool. Sam and Dean were at separate tables, Sam still laughing with the brunette and Dean talking to a leggy blonde and whispering in her ear. You tried to ignore the jealousy you felt rising up in your stomach, and turned your attention back to your drink.

"Hey there, you look kinda lonely," a man said, sitting in the stool next to you.

"Yeah, well, I'm fine," you replied, not even looking up at him.

"Well if you don't mind, I could use some company," he said. You looked up at him. He was decent looking. He had shaggy brown hair and blue eyes. You didn't intend on really taking it anywhere with him, but thought he could at least entertain you. You convinced yourself that it had nothing to do with Dean's lips being glued to the blonde's ear.

"Okay, but you're buying my next drink," you said, giving him a slight smile.

"Deal. I'm Sean, by the way," he said, signaling the bartender for another drink for you.

"Y/N," you said, shaking his hand.

The two of you talked for a while, and you continued to drink. Sean seemed like a nice enough guy, but at the same time you got a weird, almost creepy vibe from him. You kept sneaking glances at Dean, hoping when you looked he would be alone. He never was.

A half hour later you were starting to really feel the effects of the alcohol. You had only had two vodka tonics but you felt your vision starting to blur as if you were really drunk.

"I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom," you said, attempting to get out of your seat without falling.

"Okay, I'll be here when you get back," Sean responded.

You make it off the chair and stumble away from the bar. You weave your way toward the ladies' room, using the walls in the hallway for support. Something was definitely wrong. _There's no way I'm this drunk._

You felt your knees start to give out just as you heard a voice behind you.

"Ready to have some real fun?" You saw Sean's face swimming in your vision, an evil smile on his lips.

  
Dean

 

From the moment they walked in the bar you had shut down. Dean was hoping to be able to talk to you about what was making you so sad, but when he had tried to approach you it was clear you didn't want to talk. He got that, seeing as that was how he was as well when it came to sharing feelings. So instead he busied himself with a pretty blonde so he could take his mind off you.

Yeah, that didn't really work. Every chance he got, Dean would look up at you at the bar, just wanting to make sure you were okay. You were drinking, but not all that heavily, so he figured you would probably be fine. Some guy came and sat by you and Dean saw the two of you talking. He didn't want to admit to himself that he felt a fire in his belly at seeing you talk to another guy. He tried as hard as he could to keep his eyes on the blonde in front of him.

After a while Dean saw you get up from the bar, heading towards the bathroom. You looked drunk--unbelievably drunk.

"Dean? Did you hear what I said?" The blonde asked, bringing his attention back to her.

"Oh, uh, sorry, I didn't."

The blonde continued chattering, but Dean's attention was back to the hallway. He saw you using the walls for support before disappearing toward the bathroom. A minute passed and the guy you were talking to got up from the bar, heading in the same direction. Dean got a bad feeling and got up from the table, barely muttering an excuse to the girl he was sitting with.

Dean walked quickly to the hallway. When he got there, though, you were gone. He knocked on both bathroom doors, calling out your name to see if you were in there. When there was no answer, he decided to check the back exit that lead to an alley, a pit in his stomach all the while.

Dean reached the alley and took in what had to be one of the worst things he'd ever seen--and he'd been to hell. The guy you were talking to before was undressing you. You were barely conscious and he had your shirt off. He had you up against the wall of the alley. He was groping you everywhere, and you were bleeding, too. Apparently this guy was really sick. Dean felt anger like he'd never felt before.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Dean yelled, running toward the man. The man dropped you and your head hit the pavement. Dean was able to get one punch in on the man before he got away and Dean's worry for you took over.

Dean kneeled down cradling your head in his lap. "Y/N, honey, look at me. Wake up!"

You didn't stir, and Dean was filled with panic. He felt your neck for a pulse and thankfully found one. You were apparently just unconscious. Dean took out his phone.

"Dean? Why are you calling me? Where are you?" Sam answered.

"Sammy, I'm behind the building in the alley. Some guy drugged and attacked Y/N. He ran off. She's in bad shape, Sam. I need help."

"What? Oh, God. Okay, I'll be right there!" Sam replied.

A few minutes later Sam was driving the impala with Dean holding on to you in the back seat.

"You're gonna be okay, Y/N, I promise. We're gonna make sure you're okay," Dean said, holding you tight. He looked down at your unconscious and bloodied face. Of all the feelings raging inside him at that moment, the one that seemed the most important was that he knew he never wanted to see you hurt ever again.

 


	10. Chapter 10

You

The first thing you noticed was a light beeping sound. The second was the pain. You were sore, _everywhere._ You tried to open your eyes only to find that one was swollen shut. With your one good eye you saw that you were in a hospital room, alone. You started to panic, breathing heavily. The machine next to you started beeping rapidly.

A nurse who looked to be about 50 with wild red curly hair came bustling in, Dean hot on her tail.

"Y/N? Y/N?" Dean turned to the nurse. "What's wrong with her?" Dean asked, grabbing your hand and standing next to your bed.

"Oh honey, don't worry. She's just a little panicked. Totally normal when patients wake up in the hospital. Now I don't want her to start pulling at her IV or stitches so I'm just gonna give her a little sedative," the nurse responded.

You saw her push a needle with fluid into your IV and immediately started feeling calm and sleepy. As you slipped into oblivion, you heard Dean speaking to you softly while stroking your cheek.

"You're okay, Y/N. I'm not gonna leave you."

\-------------------------

The next time you came to, you kept your eyes closed, trying to remember where you were and keep yourself calm. You remembered you were in a hospital, but still didn't know why. As you lay there, you heard Sam and Dean speaking in hushed tones at your bedside.

"Where the hell is Cas, Sammy?" You heard Dean say, sounding frustrated.

"I don't know, Dean. I can only assume doing something important."

"Well he needs to get his ass here. It's bad enough that we can't heal her. I want to find the son-of-a-bitch that did this to her!" Dean yelled.

"Shh, Dean, you'll wake Y/N. Listen, I know it's hard. I hate this too. But she's gonna be okay, and we'll take care of her while she heals," Sam responded.

Dean sighed. "I know, Sammy. I'm trying to stay calm but every time I think of what he did...I mean what kind of scum do you have to be to drug a girl and assault her?!"

You gasped out loud and your one functioning eye flew open.

"Y/N? You're awake! How do you feel?" Dean said, leaning in close to you.

"Did...did he...?" You asked in a raspy voice.

"No, no, sweetheart. He tried, but I went looking for you and got to him before he could do anything...like that," Dean responded, squeezing your hand.

You felt a little relief but still wanted more answers. "How bad is it?" You asked.

"Well, he was able to get some good kicks in on you. You have some broken ribs and your face is pretty beat up. You probably wouldn't still be in the hospital if it weren't for the fact that you have a concussion. They wanted to keep an eye on you and make sure you were comfortable," Sam explained.

"Listen, Y/N, I know this is a lot to take in, but we need to know what you remember. This guy is still out there," Dean said.

"I--I remember that his name was Sean. He didn't give me a last name. We were just talking and after a bit I started to feel weird. So I went to the bathroom and the last thing I remember is his face as I started to go in and out of consciousness," you said, trying to keep your composure. You felt panic rising up in you at the memory of being so out of control, but shoved it down so you wouldn't fall apart.

"Okay, that's great, Y/N," Sam said, giving you a reassuring look. I'm sure that's enough information for Cas to find this guy."

"Yeah, if he'd ever answer our prayers!" Dean yelled angrily, looking toward the ceiling.

There was no response, and both pairs of the brothers' eyes turned toward you. "Hmm. Well, I'm starting to think you guys made this angel up," you said, your voice almost a whisper. You were exhausted, but you were trying to joke to make the boys less concerned about you.

They both chuckled a little. "He's real. And don't worry, when he comes, he'll get you all healed up," Dean said, giving you a half-smile. You nodded your head and closed your eye, feeling the weight of what happened to you. Every breath felt like daggers to your ribs, and the pain was exhausting you.

"If you guys don't mind, I think I'm gonna rest some more," you said, not opening your eyes. You could already feel yourself drifting off to sleep.

"Of course. Sleep, Y/N. We'll be here when you wake up," Dean said.

As you fell asleep you felt the first bit of warmth inside you since waking up, knowing that the boys had your back.


	11. Chapter 11

A day later you had convinced the hospital to discharge you, insisting that you were a nurse and you could care of yourself. You were still pretty weak, your rib fractures making it hard to breathe and therefore go too far without having to stop. The boys hovered around you, trying to help at every turn.

"Dean, this is completely unnecessary," you said. Dean was carrying you into the bunker from the Impala. Though you secretly liked having your arms wrapped around his neck and being able to take in his intoxicating smell of whiskey and leather, you also didn't like being babied.

"I think I'll decide what's necessary, darlin'," Dean responded, not putting you down. He brought you to your room and carefully set you down on your bed.

"Okay, you've got snacks, water, pain meds--the good kind," he added, wiggling his eyebrows. "My laptop is here so you can watch Netflix...anything else you need?"

You chuckled and rolled your eyes at him. "No, I'm fine, I promise. I think I just want to rest for a bit," you responded.

"Okay. Well Sammy and I are just down the hall. If you need anything, give us a holler," Dean said, walking out of the room and leaving your door ajar.

You laid in your bed trying to fall asleep, but couldn't. All you had done for the last two days in the hospital was sleep. As you laid there, bits and pieces of the night at the bar came to you. You closed your eyes, shaking your head lightly. _How could I have been so stupid as to let that guy near me?_

Deciding you needed a distraction, you got yourself up from your bed, grabbed your towel, and slowly made your way to the claw foot bathtub in the tiny bathroom attached to your room. You knew you couldn't stand for very long, so a bath would have to do. You took a second to prepare yourself and slowly stripped out of your clothes, hissing in pain as you did. You wrapped a towel around yourself and stood beside the tub.

As you bent over to turn on the faucet, you felt an intense pain in your side, apparently having bent at just the place where your fractures were. You let out a loud moan involuntarily and squeezed your eyes shut. Not more than five seconds later, there was a knock at the bathroom door.

"Y/N? Are you okay in there?" You heard Dean call from the other side of the door.

You were still trying to breathe through the pain. "Y-Yeah, I'm okay," you managed to get out, though the pain was evident in your voice.

"Yeah, that doesn't sound okay. I'm coming in," Dean said. Before you could respond he had opened the door. Dean stood in the doorway and took you in, looking up and down your towel-clad body.

"You didn't need to come in. I'm fine," you said stubbornly.

"Yeah, that moan I heard all the way down the hall sure sounded like you were fine," he said sarcastically. "What are you even doing?"

"I couldn't sleep, and I can't shower, so I decided to take a bath; damn faucet is too low," you responded, glaring at the faucet.

Dean smiled and shook his head, walking past you. He reached down and turned the faucet on to hot, giving the water time to warm up before plugging the drain and adding some of the bubble bath you had bought on your shopping trip.

"You know, I would have helped you if you had just asked," Dean said, turning to you. You were only inches apart in the small bathroom and you were suddenly very aware that you were in only a towel.

"W-Well what if I didn't want any help?" You said, a little breathless.

"Well that's just too bad, sweetheart. Now take off that towel."

"What?" You said, your cheeks reddening.

"You can't even bend over to turn the water on. I'm gonna have to help you get in this tub. So take off your towel," Dean responded, standing his ground. You hesitated, looking around the bathroom for any other options you had.

"It's nothin' I haven't seen before, darlin'," Dean said with a smirk.

You sighed. "Fine." You slowly removed your towel, feeling your entire body blush. Dean tried to give you some privacy and look away, but seeing as he was going to have to help you, he ended up turning to look at you.

Dean's eyes traveled up and down your body, no longer trying to avoid looking at you. You saw his eyes darken with lust as he took you and your curves in. You felt exposed, but also beautiful from the way he was looking at you. Dean's eyes stopped on your torso, taking in the bruises there from your broken ribs. He seemed to shake out of his trance, and his eyes filled with concern as they traveled back up to meet yours.

"Alright, princess, let's get you in the tub," he said, walking up behind you. Dean grabbed your arm and you stepped into the tub so he could make sure you didn't fall. Dean's arms snaked under yours, causing a chill to run through your body. He noticed, and you could almost feel the smirk on his face. Dean gently lowered you down into the warm water, and you were glad he had helped since you barely felt any pain on the way down. You sighed in relief as the water and suds came up to cover your body.

Dean looked at you for a moment. "Okay, just call out when you're ready to get out and I'll come get you," he said, turning toward the door.

"Dean?"

Dean stopped, not turning around. "Yeah?"

"Thank you," you said. You didn't like asking for help, and most of the time you didn't think you needed it. But you were slowly realizing having someone help you may not be the worst thing in the world.

"You're welcome, darlin'," Dean said, leaving the bathroom.

You sunk down into the warm water, letting it ease your sore muscles. You tried not to think about how having Dean's hands on you made you feel. Sure, you could tell that he was attracted to you physically--he's a guy, and you weren't exactly homely looking. But Sam had said it: Dean was a one-night-stand type of guy. You had lost enough. You knew if you only had one night with Dean, it wouldn't end well. You tried without much success to push thoughts of him from your mind and relax in the warm water.

 


	12. Chapter 12

A week later, you were starting to feel some relief from the pain. You still had a long way to go, but you were glad you could at least do normal tasks on your own. You and Dean hadn't had any more moments since that first incident with the bath. You had insisted on bathing yourself after that, which Dean agreed to under the condition that he stand outside the door in case something were to happen. He and Sam had continued to hover, trying to make you as comfortable as possible. They had even gone out and gotten you all new bedding, complete with a fluffy mattress topper and a down comforter. While you were annoyed at their constant worry, you were glad they cared about you.

While the pain was subsiding, the dreams were not. Now in addition to dreaming about your family and Hell, you would dream about the assault as well. Little pieces would come back to you in the dreams: the way Sean had kicked you over and over while you were unable to fight back; him ripping off your shirt and roughly groping your breasts; the smell of alcohol on his breath as he pushed you up against the wall. You woke panting and sweaty most nights. Sometimes you would scream out and Sam or Dean would come in to make sure you were okay; you would tell them you were fine and send them back to bed, often still lying awake the rest of the night though you told them otherwise in the morning.

You were in your room getting dressed after having just showered. Just as you pulled your socks on, you heard what sounded like a whoosh of wings behind you. You spun around and your eyes landed on a man in a long trench coat. He had short brown hair and dazzling blue eyes. He turned his head slightly as if taking you in.

"Y/N."

You felt your eyes go wide as you tried to understand where this man came from and how he knew your name.

"Uh...yeah. And you are?" You responded hesitantly.

"My name is Castiel. I am an angel of the Lord."

Everything clicked into place when you heard his name. "Oh, the elusive Cas. Well it's good to finally meet you."

"Yes, I apologize for the delay in coming to see you. I was busy with important matters," Cas responded.

"Hmm. Important matters. Very secretive," you said as you smirked at him. Your door was slightly ajar and you heard Dean approaching from the hall.

"Y/N, who are you talking to?" Dean asked as he entered your room. Dean's eyes fell on Castiel and immediately turned angry. "Well it's about damn time. Where the hell have you been?"

For a moment Cas looked a little taken aback by Dean's anger, but his face quickly turned back to its passive mask.

"He's been busy with important matters," you said, mimicking the angel's low voice. Dean turned his eyes to you and cocked an eyebrow.

"Listen, darlin', this is between me and him. It doesn't concern you," Dean said, waving you off.

"Doesn't concern me? He's here _because_ of me," you said, walking toward Dean. "Besides," you whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder, "you catch more flies with honey." You winked at him and slid your hand down his arm, turning to Castiel.

"Cas, it's nice to officially meet you, by the way," you said, sticking your hand out to him and giving him a smile. He tilted his head in confusion again but shook your hand anyway.

"Yes, well, I heard Sam and Dean's prayers and I would have liked to have come sooner--"

"Oh don't even worry about that! I'm still here and I'm fine," you said. You looked at Dean who glared at you. You had to admit, you were laying it on a little thick. But you already felt a soft spot for the angel, and him being there was better than him not coming at all.

"Well I'm glad to see that you didn't perish in my absence," Cas replied. Dean sighed loudly from behind you.

"Listen, Cas, can you make with the healing here?" Dean said impatiently.

You gave him a glare. "What Dean means is: I was assaulted, which I'm sure you know. I've mostly healed, but I think if you healed me the rest of the way I would be much more comfortable."

"Of course. I will have to touch your forehead, but this shouldn't hurt," Cas said, closing the distance between you and placing two fingers lightly to your forehead. You felt warmth spread through you. As soon as it came it was gone, and Cas was stepping back from you. You took inventory of your body and sighed in relief. "Thank you, Cas. That's much better."

"You're welcome," Cas responded. He got a puzzled look on his face. "Y/N, when I was healing you I felt the remnants of some power within you. Did you know about this?"

"Yes. I've been having vivid dreams that Dean says sound like Hell, and I have also exhibited some...strengths that I didn't have before," you explained.

"I see. I think I know why. The demon that resided in you was a very powerful one. She is a Hantu Kopek," Cas said.

"A what?" Dean asked.

"A Hantu Kopek. She is a nightmare demon, specifically. Although, these days she mostly just inhabits humans' bodies and causes them to go slowly insane," Cas explained, not batting an eye.

You took a deep breath. "Okay, so I have the nightmares because of her. But she apparently didn't have enough time to make me go completely insane, luckily."

"Yes, I was quite perturbed by that. The Hantu was inside you long enough that most humans would have lost their minds or their souls would be in complete disrepair. Somehow you avoided that fate," Cas said, tilting his head and looking at you.

"I guess I got lucky," you responded. "But how does all this explain the power I have?"

"When Sam cast the demon back into Hell, she held on with all her might. I believe that when she did that she left some remnants of her powers behind in you, creating a connection with her," Cas said.

"So what does that mean for me?" You asked, feeling worried about this 'connection.'

"I'm afraid I don't know yet. Thus far, it has only resulted in dreams and excessive strength. I think only time will tell what it means for the future," Cas said.

"Well can't you do something about this? Do some of your angel magic and get it out of her!" Dean said, getting upset.

"I can't, Dean. The power is too much for me to remove. We will just have to keep an eye on Y/N."

Dean looked upset and you could tell that he wasn't happy about it, but he sighed and nodded in agreement.

"Might I also suggest putting Y/N's newfound power to use? Things haven't been very easy with this tablet business and I think she could be of help," Cas said, his eyes on yours.

Before you could respond, Dean was shutting it down. "No, absolutely not. Y/N might get hurt and I will not let that happen."

"Sorry, Dean, but it's not up to you. I say we make lemonade here. Come on, Cas, let's go find Sam and tell him," you said, looping your arm through Castiel's. You heard Dean groan from behind you as you walked out the door with Cas.

"Why does Sam need to know that we are going to make lemonade? Is he thirsty?" Cas asked, completely serious.

You smiled at the angel. "Don't worry about it, Cas," you said with a chuckle.


	13. Chapter 13

Dean

You were a ball of fire. It seemed like nothing could keep you down. You were just drugged, beaten and nearly raped, for God's sakes. Dean pondered this as he watched you and Sam working on harnessing the strange power that you got from the demon. Sure, Cas had healed you, but Dean heard you screaming every night. The memories and visions were still there. That would knock most people on their ass. Not you. You were already training. Dean smirked to himself. There was something about you that made his heart beat a little faster, and while he was worried that not dealing with your emotions may catch up with you at some point, he was mostly just impressed.

"Alright, Y/N, I know that this is a little different from the powers I told you I had a few years back, but I think we should follow along the same lines I did when I was learning how to use them," Sam was explaining.

"Okay, so what do I need to do?" You responded.

"The trick is recognizing the power. I know what that kind of power feels like, and I know it's scary to think of it being inside you. But accepting that it's there makes it easier to harness."

"So how do I do that?" You asked.

"Close your eyes. Breathe deeply, and search inside for that power," Sam said. You did as he said and closed your eyes. You breathed in and out deeply, your chest rising and falling...which Dean didn't miss. He kept his eyes trained on you, waiting for something to happen.

"Okay, Y/N, now try to reach out and push me without actually touching me," Sam said, readying himself.

You reached out your hands and squeezed your eyes tight. Nothing happened. You opened your eyes.

"This isn't working. I don't feel anything," you said, frustrated.

"Okay, well I think you're still afraid of feeling the power." Sam paused, looking around the room. His eyes landed on Dean. "Dean, come over here."

"Uh, me? Why?" Dean asked. He had never had any sort of powers like this so he didn't know how he could be of any help.

"Just come on. We need your help," Sam responded, waving Dean over.

Dean walked over and stood beside Sam. "Okay, I think what Y/N needs is to relax. I want you to keep her calm in any way you can," Sam said.

Dean wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but nodded his head.

"Okay, Y/N, let's try this again," Sam said.

You reached your hands out. Dean watched as you closed your eyes tight again, clearly stressed out. He decided to try to help. The only thing he could think of was to walk up behind you and place his hands on your shoulders. He felt your shoulders relax a little.

"Just focus, sweetheart. You can do this," Dean whispered in your ear, causing you to shiver a bit. He smoothed his hands down your arms. "Don't be afraid. I'm right here, nothing will happen to you."

Dean watched as your face relaxed. Suddenly he heard a crash on the other side of the room and looked up from your face to see Sam on the floor, having been thrown back.

_Damn._

You opened your eyes and smiled a dazzling smile. You turned your head, your eyes meeting Dean's. Dean's heart sped up again at your stare. Your faces were only inches from each other.

"Well that was great, Y/N!" Sam said, walking over from where he was thrown, brushing off his pants. "Now we just have to keep doing that till you have complete control."

Dean let your arms go and stepped away. He knew you would likely have a handle on this now. You seemed to conquer everything you did. He had no doubt this would be the same. "Good job, Y/N."

"Thanks, Dean," You said, giving him a smile. Dean walked out of the training room and down the hall to the kitchen, all the while wondering what his rapid heart beat meant. You were gorgeous, of course. But there was something else about you. Dean wasn't sure what it was, but he knew it wasn't anything he'd ever seen in a girl before. 


	14. Chapter 14

You

It had been a few weeks of practicing, and your powers had quickly become second nature to you. The dreams of torture and memories of your time with the demon had also increased some, but you chose not to focus on that and look on the bright side: you were becoming pretty awesome. Besides, letting those things bother you was only going to bring you down. You knew if you let all the pain in, it would be to hard to think of anything else.

You had just showered and gotten ready for a night out with the boys. You had all decided a little celebration was in order since you were doing so well on your training. You had put on one of the dresses you bought weeks ago: a short, strappy black dress that hugged your curves in all the right places. It was sleeveless and was cut low in the front, showing off your cleavage. You grabbed your peep-toe heels and left your hair wavy down your back. The boys promised to stick by your side the entire time so there wouldn't be a repeat of the last night out you had. You had just rolled your eyes, telling them there was no way in hell that would be happening again, especially with your newfound talents.

You were carrying your shoes down the hall, waiting to put them on until right before you left. The boys didn't hear you coming. You could hear them in the library, speaking in hushed tones. You knew you shouldn't, but you stopped to listen in just short of the library.

"It just worries me, that's all," you heard Sam say.

"Sam, we're keeping an eye on her. That's all Cas said we could do. And you gotta admit...she basically has the force. That's pretty sweet," Dean replied, sounding impressed.

Sam chuckled. "I know. It's just that she became so powerful so fast...and I know she's still having those dreams. Do you think that her connection with the demon is stronger now?"

"I don't know, man. I guess it's possible," Dean said.

"I just feel like we're repeating the past here. You know what happened with me when I had those powers. It turned into something really ugly," Sam said, his voice full of regret.

"Dude, you don't have to remind me. That was the detox from Hell," Dean said.

"I just think we need to keep a really close watch on her. Not only does she have this connection with a demon, but she's also keeping all her emotions bottled up. What if they come out all at once along with the mass of power she has? She could hurt someone."

You had heard enough. Your heart sank at the brothers' worries. You thought you seemed like you had a handle on things. You were disappointed, and felt like the boys didn't trust you like you thought they did. You walked backwards a few steps and put on your heels so they would know you were coming.

You entered the library and Sam and Dean looked up at you. Sam came over and gave you a kiss on the cheek. "You look great, Y/N," he said, giving your arm a light squeeze. You tried to smile and pretend you hadn't just heard Sam say that he basically didn't trust you. You looked at Dean, who hadn't taken his eyes off you since you entered the room. He had a goofy look on his face, and his eyes were traveling up and down your body.

"Yeah...uh, you look awesome, Y/N," he finally managed to get out.

"Dean, you may want to close your mouth. You're drooling on the floor," Sam said, making fun of Dean's obvious checking out of your body.

You rolled your eyes and started heading for the garage. You looked over your shoulder at the boys who hadn't moved yet. "Are you two coming, or what?" You asked, continuing to the Impala. Dean finally shut his mouth and both brothers followed you to the car.

\---------------

At the bar, you had all decided to get a little something to eat before your night of drinking. Sam ordered a salad, as usual, and Dean ordered a burger--also as usual. You ordered a turkey club with chips, but had only picked at it. You were having trouble not replaying the conversation Sam and Dean had earlier in your head, which was causing you to have no appetite.

"You okay, Y/N?" Sam asked, pulling you away from the spot you were staring at on the table.

"Uh, yeah, I'm fine. Just ready to drink," you said, giving Sam a fake smile that you hoped looked real. Dean continued eating his burger, oblivious.

"Well, in that case," Sam said, grabbing his beer and lifting it up. "To Y/N. She's strong as hell and ready to fight. Way to go, kid." You all lifted your beers and clinked them. You took a swig of yours before deciding to down the whole thing. Dean looked at you and lifted his eyebrows. You looked away, starting to stand up.

"I'm gonna go get something a little stronger. You guys want anything?" You asked, already walking toward the bar.

"We're good. Want me to come with you?" Sam asked.

"No," you threw over your shoulder. "I think I'll be okay five feet away from you guys," you said under your breath sarcastically.

When you reached the bar you ordered two tequila shots for yourself. You downed them immediately, trying to dull the pain that was threatening to come out of you. It worked, and you decided to down one more shot before heading to the dance floor. You could already feel the effects of the alcohol, and everything that was bothering you started to slip from your mind. You stopped by your table first.

"You boys wanna dance?" You asked.

"No way in Hell," Dean replied immediately. You rolled your eyes at him.

"Sammy?"

Sam chuckled. "I think I'll pass on this one. I'm gonna go talk to that girl that's been staring at me all night. Dean, keep an eye on her, would ya?" he said, getting up from the table. Dean grunted in agreement. You turned on your heel and went to the dance floor, not saying anything to Dean. He was just another confusing area in your life. Did he like you? Did he see you as a burden? Was he just looking for another one night stand? It was hard to tell, and thinking about it just made you more upset, so you decided to dance and forget about him for now.

You made your way to the middle of the crowd on the dance floor and began swaying your hips to the music. It was an upbeat song, and the alcohol had definitely kicked in and lowered your inhibitions. You chanced a glance at Dean, who was drinking his beer, his eyes on you and your movements. You turned your back to him, wanting to ignore his piercing glare.

A man who looked to be about your age came up to you, silently asking you to dance with him. You just nodded your head. Soon, he had his hands on your hips and yours were on his neck. You knew this probably wasn't the best idea but figured it was okay since the boys were there in case you needed them. Not to mention there were no drinks on the dance floor to spike.

Suddenly, you felt a pair of strong, warm hands on your midsection pulling you backward. You turned around, startled, to see Dean pulling you toward the edge of the dance floor.

"Hey, I wasn't done dancing!" You yelled to him.

"Well you sure as hell ain't dancing with that asshole," Dean said angrily.

"You aren't the boss of me. I want to dance and I'm going to whether you like it or not," you said, planting your feet.

Dean sighed heavily, looking at the ceiling. "Fine. Then I'll dance with you. I'm not letting some jerk take advantage of you again."

"Fine," you said, turning back toward the dance floor. You smiled. This wasn't part of the plan but you figured it would be fun.

When you got back to the middle of the dance floor you turned toward Dean and began swaying your hips again. Dean stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. You took his hands in yours and placed them on your hips. You wrapped your hands around his neck and he began moving with you. You felt your heartbeat pick up from the way his meadow-green eyes stared into yours. They were filled with lust, and while you would usually avoid this kind of moment with Dean, the alcohol was clouding your judgement.

Dean spun you around and pressed himself against you. You swayed together to the music, Dean's hands on your abdomen. You could feel his warm breath on your neck, the light smell of beer mingling with his smell of leather. You reached up and wrapped your hand around his neck, lightly running your fingers through his hair. Suddenly, Dean's mouth was on your neck. Chills ran up and down your spine as he placed light kisses there that soon turned urgent, his tongue sliding up toward your ear. You leaned your head back and closed your eyes, reveling in the feeling of his mouth on you.

Dean turned you around. Words weren't needed. He grabbed your hand and pulled you from the dance floor, down the hall and to the men's room. Dean pulled you inside and locked the door behind you. Before you could do anything, his lips were on yours. He took them in a hungry kiss, his tongue parting your lips and slipping inside. You were leaned up against the counter, your arms wrapped around his neck. He lifted you up till you were sitting on the counter and he was standing between your legs. You felt his hardness rubbing against your center, his jeans creating a friction that felt amazing. You wrapped your legs around him tight. You were both panting and Dean pulled back to look at you, his hands cradling your face.

"Wow," you said, breathing heavily.

Dean licked his lips, his eyes darting between yours, looking conflicted. He stepped back from you, leaving you sitting on the counter alone. "Listen, Y/N, I don't think this is a good idea," he said.

You looked at him, waiting for him to continue.

"I just think you've had a lot to drink and you're not thinking clearly. Plus you've had a lot going on lately..."

You felt your heart sink. Of course Dean wasn't into you. He just got caught up in the moment. How could he be in to you? He's amazing, and you're a mess. You shouldn't be surprised.

"It's okay, Dean, I get it," you said, climbing down from the counter.

"Y/N, trust me, if it was different circumstances..." Dean began.

"No, it's fine, I know I'm a mess. I don't blame you, Dean," you said, reaching for the door.

Dean grabbed your hand to stop you. "Y/N, please, just talk to me."

"And say what, Dean? That I'm disappointed? I am. I thought we could have a fun night, but clearly you aren't in to me, and that's fine. I don't need your pity," you said, getting angry.

"It's not that! I just think you've been holding all your emotions in and it's not good for you," Dean said.

"Oh, like you're one to talk?" You said. You knew you were lashing out, but you didn't care. "You never talk about how you're feeling. If you did, then maybe I wouldn't feel like an idiot right now thinking you were actually interested in me. You want me to share my feelings? Well fine. I'm miserable, Dean. My family is dead. I have no one. No one cares about me. You and Sam took me in because you knew I had no other options, but I know you don't trust me." You felt the tears streaming down your face as you yelled. "So I don't want your concern, Dean. I'm handling it because I have no other choice. If I don't, it will consume me!"

Concern filled Dean's eyes. He reached out, wanting to comfort you. You pulled your arm out of his reach. "Don't, Dean," you said, opening the bathroom door. Dean tried to grab you once more but you reached out a hand and used your power to push him back against the counter. You walked quickly through the bar and out the door, keeping your head down. You continued down the road outside the bar. You knew you had nowhere to go, but you didn't care. All you could do was keep walking.

 


	15. Chapter 15

Dean

He had blown it. He had shared the best kiss he'd ever had with you, and he blew it. He had stopped kissing you because he didn't want it to just be a one night stand and end in a mess. Instead it was a mess anyway.

Dean took a deep breath and looked at himself in the mirror. _How do I always end up fucking things up?_ , Dean thought as he struggled against your invisible force. He shook his head. Y/N was different. She was special. Not to mention she was so beautiful and sexy. Fucking things up wasn't an option.

When your power wore off and Dean was able to move again, he ran to the door and threw it open to go after you. No more than a few minutes had passed, but he looked around the bar and you were nowhere in sight. Panic started to rise up in his chest. He spotted Sam and hurried over to him.

"Sam!" He said, coming up to the table where he was still talking to the girl from earlier.

"What, man? I'm busy," Sam replied, not looking away from the leggy blonde.

"Y/N's gone. I screwed up and she's gone," Dean replied.

Sam got out of his chair quickly. "What do you mean 'gone'?"

"We got in a fight back by the bathrooms and she walked out. She was only gone for a couple of minutes before I could go after her but it looks like she already left the bar," Dean said, stressed and tugging at the ends of his hair.

"Shit. Well she can't have gotten far. Let's find her before someone else does. We can't let anything happen to her again," Sam said, heading toward the exit.

Dean thought about your conversation and felt horrible. He was only trying to look out for you, but it was like you thought he was rejecting you. Thinking back over the way he pulled away from you, he could see why. Plus you said something about him and Sam not trusting you...what the hell was that about?

Apparently that few minutes was plenty of time for you to get far. Sam and Dean tried calling your cell multiple times but it only went straight to voicemail. They drove around town looking for you, but they couldn't find you anywhere. It was the early hours of the morning when Sam finally said something to Dean.

"Man, I think we need to go back to the bunker and regroup. We have no idea where she is and until she answers her phone we won't," Sam said.

"Sammy, I can't leave her out here alone. Or what if she's not alone? What if some jerk found her and took her? I couldn't live with myself!"

"Well let's at least go back to get another car so we can split up. We're gonna find her, Dean." Sam said, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder.

Dean sighed. "Okay, but let's be quick."

They made the short drive back to the bunker, Dean speeding the entire way. He stopped in front of the main door to let Sam out. Just as he was about to pull away to continue looking for you he heard Sam yell his name.

"Dean, get over here!"

Dean jumped out of the Impala and ran to the door. There you were, lying in front of the door, shivering--which made sense since it was only thirty degrees outside. Sam was crouched down beside you, stroking your hair back from your face. He had laid his jacket over your shivering body.

"Y/N! Where the hell have you been?" Dean asked, rushing to your side.

"W-well once I realized that I had nowhere to go, I w-walked back here. Th-then I realized I didn't have a k-key and my phone was dead. So I s-sat in front of the door to wait for you," you said though chattering teeth. Not only was thirty degrees out, but you were in nothing but that short dress. Dean bent down and picked you up. He knew you were probably too cold to move anyway.

"Let's get you inside, sweetheart," He said, carrying you through the door which Sam had unlocked and was holding open.

Dean carried you down the hall toward your room with Sam close on his heels.

"I got it from here, Sammy," Dean said, letting Sam know he could take care of you. He knew Sam loved you and wanted to make sure you were okay, but he wanted to try to talk to you.

"Okay, man. Let me know if you need anything," Sam said, turning and heading toward his room.

Dean took you to your bed and laid you down, piling blankets on you to try to warm you up.

"You know how stupid that was, right?" He asked, rubbing your arms to try to help warm you. You looked away, and Dean knew you were feeling embarrassed. He pursed his lips. "Course, you wouldn't have run away like that if I didn't piss you off, so I guess this is on me, too."

"I don't need you to baby me, Dean. I'm a grown-ass woman," you replied. He was trying to make you feel better, but it was clear you weren't ready to talk.

 

You

You closed your eyes, feeling frustrated. Everything in you wanted to be with Dean, but something was holding you back. Once the alcohol had warn off you started to think that having sex with Dean would have been a mistake. You knew your feelings for him went much deeper, and you also knew a relationship or fling or whatever with Dean would only bring you more heartache. You couldn't bear to lose anyone else in your life. So you did what you had to do: push him away.

You opened your eyes, looking right into Dean's. "Dean, I think you were right. I don't think we should do this," you said, motioning between the two of you. You felt your heart breaking at your own words. You knew it was for the best, though. Dean would probably be happy to have an out anyway, what with your massive outburst earlier. "I was just drunk and acting stupid."

Dean's eyes flashed with a look you struggled to place--disappointment, maybe?--then became their normal blank mask.

"Yeah, we probably shouldn't. Might make things too messy," Dean responded, getting up from your bed. He was acting strange. He kept shifting on his feet and looking around the room, avoiding your eyes.

"Well, I'm gonna go. Night, Y/N," he said, walking out your door. You sat on your bed, more confused than ever. Dean had seemed almost upset that you didn't want to sleep with him. Maybe you had made the right choice, if all Dean was interested in was sex.

You snuggled down into your fluffy bed, exhausted from the emotions of the night. Plus, all the shivering you had done had made your body achy. You willed your mind to ignore everything you were feeling and eventually drifted off to sleep.

 


	16. Chapter 16

" _Do you really think you can be trusted again? After how you failed me before?" A short British man you recognized as Crowley asked you._

_"I can, your highness. There is no way anything like that will happen again. I'm going to find those Winchesters and take them down if it's the last thing I do," you replied._

_"Good, my pet," Crowley said, stroking your face. "You know I'm only hard on you because--well I would say because I love you but that just isn't true. It's because I expect results. Now find me that BLOODY tablet!"_

You woke with a start. It had felt so real, and you were pretty sure it was. You looked at the clock. It was 11 AM? You couldn't believe it was so late. You felt like you had only been asleep for a few minutes. You jumped out of bed and ran down the hall to where you could hear Sam and Dean in the library.

"Guys!" You yelled, skidding into the room.

They both jumped. "Wow, that was quite an entrance considering you just got up," Sam said, chuckling a little.

"I had another dream--or vision--whatever you want to call it. The demon was talking to Crowley. He's giving her another chance. She said she's going to come after you two! She's being let out of Hell!" You said, speaking so quickly you were sure you were hard to understand.

The boys stared at you blankly for a moment. You were confused. This wasn't exactly the reaction you were expecting. Panic? Yes. Hurried movements? Yes. Disinterest? No.

"Uh, did you guys hear anything I just said?" You asked, waving your hand in front of their faces.

"Yeah. So?" Dean said. You rolled your eyes at him.

"So? So don't you think we should do something?"

"Y/N, it's really unlikely that the demon even knows where to find us. You had never been here so it's not like she saw it in your memories. Plus, since we have your weird connection with her we can keep tabs on her. That is, if you don't mind," Sam explained.

"Oh," you said, feeling a little foolish for panicking. "Yeah, that's fine with me. I--I guess I'll let you know if I see anything else," you said, starting to back out of the room. You looked at Dean who was watching you carefully. It was then that you remembered everything from the night before, and looked down to see that you were even still in the dress you wore to the bar. You realized how insane you must have looked running in there like that. "Okay," you said awkwardly. "I'll see you guys later." You basically wanted to crawl in a hole and pretend none of this ever happened.

You went in your room and closed the door, sighing and leaning against it. You were so frustrated. How were you supposed to move forward? Everything felt out of control. _This is why I'd rather just bottle it all up_. Yelling at Dean last night, seeing through a demons eyes--it was all too much.

I can't do this.

You decided to just turn it all off. Not thinking about your family or Dean or your link with the demon was your only option. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. When you exhaled and opened them, it was all gone.

\-----------------------

  
"Hey boys! Mmm, lunch time. So, when's our first hunt?" You asked the boys, coming into the kitchen where they were eating their meal. You had taken a shower and cleaned yourself up, washing away the makeup and remaining memories from the night before.

Sam and Dean shared a look with each other then looked at you, confusion written on their faces. "Uh...well we caught wind of a vamp's nest not too far from here. We figured we could leave tonight," Dean said.

"Okay, sounds good. I'm ready to try out my powers," you said, clapping your hands together and walking toward the fridge. You rummaged around in it, looking for ingredients for a sandwich while humming "Highway to Hell." You could almost feel the brothers silently arguing behind you, trying to decide who would broach the subject of your new attitude.

"Uh, Y/N?" Sam asked gently. You smiled to yourself. I guess Sam was the lucky winner.

"Yeah, Sam?" You replied, turning with your arms full of lunch meat and condiments from the refrigerator.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, Sammy, I'm fine. Why do you ask?" You continued to the counter, starting in on making your ham sandwich.

Sam looked at you with a crinkle of worry in his brow. "Well it's just that you've been through a lot lately and last night was kinda rough..."

"And?"

"And, we wanna know what's with this little miss sunshine act?" Dean added.

"It's not an act, Dean. I've moved on, and you should, too. I'm not going to discuss any of the stuff from the last few weeks again, so let's just talk about the hunt, shall we?" You said, smiling at the brothers.

They both looked concerned and confused, but it was clear you weren't going to budge on this.

"Okay. Well we figured we'd head out tonight. Our buddy Garth told us about this nest a few hours from here. Three of us should be plenty, especially if you can hold them off with your power," Sam explained. Dean continued to watch you, the same look on his face since you entered the room.

"Okay, that all sounds good." You picked up your plate with your sandwich and started to leave. "I'm gonna go eat this in my room. I'll pack and be ready in a couple hours if you guys want to go then." You left the room, not wanting to talk anymore than you had to. When you got to your room you sat on your bed, your plate in your lap. You picked at your sandwich and waited to feel better after having successfully gotten through the conversation with the boys. Instead, you felt nothing, which you guessed was better than feeling pain.

 


	17. Chapter 17

The three of you were in the Impala, approaching a run-down house in the middle of Oklahoma. The windows were boarded up, and the lawn was overgrown. It was dark out, as you had left the bunker in the early evening. You had all been silent throughout the drive, but you had noticed that Dean had been looking at you in the rear view mirror periodically. Each time you made eye-contact, Dean had looked quickly away. You knew he was trying to figure out what was going on with you--not that he would ever just ask you to your face. You rolled your eyes at the thought.

Dean put the car in park and you all quietly got out of the car. There were no lights on in the house. Sam and Dean had figured if you got there before it was too late at night the vampires would still be sleeping. You all moved to the trunk, where Dean handed out machetes to both you and Sam.

"Now remember, Y/N, beheading them is the only way to kill them. Here's a vial of dead man's blood, so if one gets too close you can inject it. Be quick and keep on your toes," Sam said.

"I think I got it, Sammy. Thanks," you replied.

You all walked quietly to the front door. Dean turned the knob, which was unlocked, and opened the door slowly. You entered the house, trying to avoid creaking floorboards as you walked. As you walked through the foyer, you came upon a large living room to your left. There was a fire roaring in the fireplace, and from its flickering light you saw at least 11 vamps laying in different areas of the room, still sleeping. The three of you had planned to have more than one vamp per person, but almost four per person? That was pushing it.

Dean immediately starting in to the living room, heading toward the closest vampire. He pulled the machete over his head and slammed it down, instantly killing the monster. Of course, his plan wasn't thought through very well. Every vampire awoke, and they all had murder in their eyes. Within seconds three of them had the three of you in a chokehold, and you were all unable to reach your weapons. You started to panic.

"Y/N...the...force!" Dean said, struggling to breathe through the vampire's hold. You had already forgotten about your power. You closed your eyes and focused, reaching deep down for the fullest amount of power you could muster. You felt your body be released and fell to your knees. When you looked up, all the vamps were lined up against the far wall, unable to move due to the force you had put on them. Sam and Dean got up, coughing a bit, and grabbed their machetes.

Suddenly, you felt a blinding pain in your head. It was like you had a migraine only twenty times worse. You bent over in pain, holding your head in your hands.

You opened your eyes, and the rundown house was gone. You were in a big warehouse, standing before a man who was tied to a chair, beaten and bloody. He looked to be in his mid-forties.

" _I'm only going to ask one more time. Where are they?" You heard yourself ask the man in a cold and calculating voice._

_"And I'll tell you one more time," the man said with a southern twang, sounding weak, "I wouldn't tell you even if I knew."_

_You laughed. "Do you really think the Winchesters are worth your life?"_

_"They saved the damn world. So yeah, I do," the man replied._

_"Fine, Billy boy. Have it your way." You stabbed the man through the heart with a large blade._

"Y/N! Y/N!"

You opened your eyes and you were once again in the old house. You were still kneeling on the floor, tears running down your face. The pain in your head had subsided, but it was still throbbing lightly. Dean was crouching next to you, holding you by the shoulders.

"Y/N, sweetheart, are you okay?" He asked.

You raised a shaking hand to your forehead. "Y-yeah, I'm okay," you responded, looking at Dean.

"Good...you can let them go now," he said, gesturing toward the back wall with his head while keeping his concerned eyes on you. You looked over and saw that you were still holding the vampires against the wall, but their heads were all gone, Sam and Dean having chopped them off while you were having the vision. Sam looked at you, worried and still holding the bloody machete in his hands. You released the bodies and they all fell to the floor simultaneously.

"What happened, Y/N?" Sam asked, walking over to where you and Dean still sat.

"I-I don't know. I've never had a vision like that while I was awake before. I felt a blinding pain and then I saw through the demon's eyes."

"What did you see?" Dean asked.

"She was in a warehouse with an older man...Billy, I think. She was torturing him, trying to get him to tell her where you two are. He wouldn't say anything so--so she killed him. That's when I heard you calling my name."

"Damn it!" Dean yelled, pounding his fist on the floor. You jumped a little. He looked at you, sadness in his eyes. "Billy was an old hunter friend of our dad's."

"I--I'm sorry, Dean," you said, placing a hand on his shoulder. You felt guilt--the first feeling you'd had all day--that you hadn't seen what the demon was doing sooner. The second you let the guilt in, you started to have what felt like a crushing pressure squeezing your chest. This was why you had pushed it all away--it was too much. You shoved it down again, making the guilt go away. You got to your feet, wobbling slightly. You were still exhausted from the amount of power you used and the vision.

"Well, we better get rid of these bodies. I'm ready to get home and go to sleep for about a day."

"Y/N, why don't you go wait in the car. We'll burn the bodies and be out soon," Sam said, placing a hand on your shoulder. You didn't want his pity, but you were too tired to argue. You nodded your head and headed for the front door.

When you got to the Impala, you sunk down in the back seat, rubbing at your temples. You closed your tired and puffy eyes. No matter how hard you tried, the guilt and sadness of the boys' friend dying kept pushing its way up. You let one tear roll down your face as you laid down in the back seat. Soon you were drifting off, the night having taken a huge toll on you.

 


	18. Chapter 18

You woke to the feeling of being carried. When you opened your eyes, you saw that it was Dean taking you to your room from the Impala, your head resting on his chest. He hadn't seen that you were awake yet, so you took the time to take in Dean's rugged features. He was so unbelievably handsome with his light stubble, brilliant green eyes, and his chiseled cheekbones. You bit your lip and looked up at his furrowed brow. You knew your resistance toward him was fading. It was almost inevitable.

Dean looked down at you and saw you were awake. He gave you a half-smile.

"I didn't want to wake you, so I figured I'd just carry you to bed."

You rested your head back against his chest. "Thank you," you said, closing your eyes and breathing in his scent. You reached your room and Dean set you down on your bed.

"I'll be right back," he said, dashing out of the room. He was back seconds later with ibuprofen and a glass of water. "I figured you might need this. That headache seemed pretty nasty."

You smiled at him. Your head was still pounding a bit. "Thanks, Dean."

He set the items down on your bedside table. You took a couple with some water. He stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say. He pursed his lips. "Well, good night, darlin'," He said, walking to the door.

You didn't know why, but you didn't want him to leave. "Stay," you said, stopping Dean in his tracks. He turned to look at you.

"Stay?" He asked, still halfway to the door.

You nodded. "Stay."

Dean closed the door to your room and came to sit on your bed. He sat near the edge facing you. "Did you want to talk about something?" He asked.

You breathed a deep sigh. "I don't know what I want, Dean."

He chuckled a little. "That sounds pretty heavy."

You nodded a little bit, your face turning sad.

"You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" Dean asked.

You closed your eyes, unsure of if you wanted to take your relationship to a deeper level with Dean. What if you told him everything that's going on with you and he rejected you? What if he left, or something happened to him?

You opened your eyes, and Dean's beautiful green ones were looking right into yours. Something in them had you breaking. It was like holding everything in wasn't an option anymore, and if you didn't get it all out you'd explode.

Your heart pounding, you began telling a story. "When I was little, my family and I used to go on picnics together. We would go once a week, every week. Even in the winter. We would bundle up and go to the park. We would freeze our assess off and my sister and I would have to huddle together for warmth. We still always went, though. It became our tradition. Then, when I got to high school, I didn't want to go anymore. I thought it was dumb, and I just wanted to hang out with my friends. After that the tradition just kind of slipped away. And--and now, I'll never see my family again. I wasted years of family picnics, and now I'll never have the chance again." You drifted off, sobs taking over your body. You pulled your knees to your chest, trying desperately to hold yourself together.

Dean scooted over behind you and pulled you into his arms, pushing the hair away from your face and wiping your tears. He kissed your head, rocking you back and forth as you continued to cry.

Everything came slamming into you at once: your family, people dying by your hands, the demon inside you, the near rape, being beaten and drugged...every memory was like a dagger to your heart, and you remembered why you had wanted to push them all away. It was too late now, though. They were out, and you could barely breathe.

"Shh, Y/N, it's okay. I'm not gonna leave you. I'll get you through this," Dean whispered to you, trying to help you calm down.

You looked at Dean, his face blurry through your tears. "H-How do you do this? How do you go on with everything you've been through?" You asked between sobs.

Dean smiled a little. "Well, darlin', I have Sammy. I couldn't and wouldn't want to do this life without him. And Y/N, you don't have to do this life alone either. You have Sammy and me. We--we love you, Y/N." He kissed your head again, then took your face in his hands. "I love you, Y/N."

Your eyes went wide and you felt as if your heart was going to beat out of your chest. Before you knew what you were doing, you had slammed Dean's lips to yours, pushing him back on the bed. He froze in shock for just a moment before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to him tightly. His hands travelled up your back tangled into your hair, pressing his lips even tighter to yours.

Dean rolled the two of you over so you were pinned under him. He pulled his lips from yours, looking at you and holding your face in his hands. You were both panting, out of breath from the intensity of the moment. Dean smiled, the first one to reach his eyes in a long time.

"I love you, too," you said breathlessly.

"You don't know how glad I am to hear you say that," Dean said. He pulled you back in, kissing you deeply again. His tongue probed your lips, and you opened for him, your tongues dancing together. You picked up the pace, the kisses becoming almost desperate.

You pulled back from Dean and reached for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head. Dean took you in, his eyes landing on the swell of your breasts in your bra. He leaned down, planting hot kisses up and down the skin just above the cups. You put your hands in his hair, panting. You pushed him up and started to unbutton his flannel shirt before giving up and just ripping it open, buttons flying everywhere.

You ran your hands over his chiseled chest lightly, sliding your fingers down his abdomen, making Dean shiver. He was using his arms to hold himself up, but went down to his forearms so he could kiss his way down your stomach. You felt wetness pooling in your center as he kissed further down. He looked up at you, silently asking for permission. You nodded slightly and he unbuttoned your jeans before pulling them all the way off, leaving you in just your bra and panties.

You squirmed under his hungry stare, wanting contact with him again. You reached up and unbuttoned his jeans for him, which he quickly shimmied out of, making you chuckle lightly. He crawled back over you, kissing his way back down again before hooking his fingers in your panties. He pulled them down, kissing your thighs. You arched your back and bit your lip.

You gasped as Dean put his mouth on your center, swirling his tongue around your clit. You could already feel yourself building, and as he slid two fingers inside you nearly came already. He pushed you to the edge several times, backing off before you could fall over. When you couldn't take it anymore, you pulled him up to you.

"Enough teasing," you said, panting. "I want you inside me."

Dean chuckled at your impatience, but watched with hooded eyes as you reached behind you and unclasped your bra. You were totally naked in front of him, and he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

"So fucking beautiful," he said, reaching down to take his boxers off. When he did, his cock sprang free, think and erect. You licked your lips, which made him growl audibly. He quickly put on a condom he got out of his wallet from his jeans, and then he was on top of you again, his member at your entrance.

He slowly sank into you, filling you in a way you had never experienced before. You both moaned in ecstasy. Dean let you adjust to his size for a moment before beginning to move slowly in and out. That didn't last long, though, as you were both still riled up. You flipped him over to his back so you were on top. You placed your hands on his chest for support and began moving your hips up and down, riding him. He hit all the right places and soon you were coming, saying his name over and over.

As you came down from your high, Dean flipped you over again and drove into you. You could tell he was close, and you could feel yourself building for a second time. You came again, your orgasm so intense you almost couldn't handle it. Dean followed soon after, resting himself on top of you when he was done.

You both lay there trying to catch your breath. Dean rolled over next to you and you looked at him, smiling.

"Guess I should have spilled all my feelings a little sooner, huh?"

"Darlin', I don't think it would have mattered. I've wanted to do that since the first time I carried you into this bunker," Dean responded, stroking your hair with a big, warm hand.

"I was afraid that was all you wanted. But...you love me?" You asked hesitantly.

"I do. I didn't want to admit it at first. I gotta warn you: I kinda suck at relationships. That's why I didn't want to face my feelings. I was afraid I'd fuck it up," Dean said, a crease forming between his eyes.

You reached out and stroked his face. "And I was afraid I would lose you. I don't know if I could handle losing another person in my life. But you know what? Even if I do lose you somehow, it would be worth it." You felt your eyelids getting heavy, the weight of the day and all your emotions having exhausted you.

Dean smiled. "Hey, you look exhausted. What do you say we get some sleep?" He opened his arms and you snuggled in, already struggling to keep your eyes open.

"Goodnight, Dean. I love you," you said, yawning.

"I love you too, Y/N."

 


	19. Chapter 19

You and Dean had fallen into a comfortable pattern pretty easily. You had basically moved into his room, and you spent nights getting to know each other sexually and testing out your powers in a whole new way. Dean thought it was fun. That is, until you made him levitate above the bed so he would freak out when he woke up. He didn't think that was as fun.

Sam had noticed something had changed between you and Dean, and even asked you about it. When you told him you were together he just looked at you with his puppy dog eyes and said, "Finally." He hugged you, and said he was glad you were able to be there to make his brother happy.

You continued with your hunts together, your powers proving useful over and over. Since you couldn't plan how hunts would go--something always seemed to go wrong at some point--it was nice to have "the force"--as Dean called it--to back you up.

You were all at the bunker, about a month after you and Dean became official. You were in the kitchen, doing the dishes that had piled up for a few days when you felt a little pain starting in your head. You started to turn around, ready to tell Sam and Dean when the pain became blinding. You dropped the plate you were holding and it shattered on the floor. The pain became too much, and you followed down after it.

_You looked down at your hands which were covered in blood. You wiped them quickly on your jeans and continued on your path, stepping over the bodies of the hunters you had just killed that were lying on the ground._

_Kansas._

_You had finally gotten what you needed to find the Winchesters. You got in the car you had stolen and headed to the interstate. You looked at yourself in the rear view mirror, your eyes turning black._

_"Oh, by the way," you said to your reflection, "I know you can hear me, Y/N. I'm coming for you and the Winchesters. And you are all going to die."_

You gasped as you came back into consciousness. You opened your eyes and saw that you were on the floor, staring up at the ceiling. Dean was leaning over you, his eyes darting between yours. Sam was on your other side, just as concerned.

"Y/N! Are you okay? What happened?" Sam asked.

You tried to move but felt pain in several places on your body.

"Hey, hey, don't move. You fell right on the broken plate, so we gotta figure out how bad you're hurt before you get up," Dean said, stilling you.

"She knows about our connection. She spoke directly to me this time. And--and she killed more hunters. She knows where we are. She's coming."

\-----------------

You had sustained a few cuts from the broken plate. You insisted that you could bandage them yourself while Dean hovered over you, wanting to make sure you were okay.

"Dean, this is not what you need to be focusing on. We need to come up with a plan. The demon is coming!" You said.

"I know, sweetheart, and Sammy's talking to Cas right now to figure out what to do. Just breathe, okay?" Dean replied, stroking your hair.

"This is all my fault. She wouldn't be tracking you if she hadn't figured out our connection," you said, shaking your head.

"That's not true, and you know it. She would have found us regardless. It was only a matter of time," Dean said.

"Y/N," Cas said, coming into your room with Sam right behind him. You got up, walking over to Cas and wrapping your arms around him.

He stiffened for a moment before returning the hug. "Thanks for coming, Cas," you said, stepping away from him. The angel still held a soft spot in your heart.

"It wasn't any trouble. I think Sam and I have an idea for trying to stop the demon," Cas replied.

"Oh, good. What is it?" You asked.

"Well, we were thinking that we could maybe use your connection to track her," Sam began.

"Well isn't that kind of what we're already doing?" You asked.

"Yes. However, the visions are sporadic." Cas added.

"Okay, so what do you propose?" You asked.

"Well, there are two things we could try. One would be to see if we can get you to choose when to see through the demon's eyes. That way, we could see where she is at all times. The other would be to lead her to a trap," Sam said.

"How do we do that?" You asked, wary of where it was going.

"By letting her into your head," Sam said, his face serious.

"No. Absolutely not, no friggin' way," Dean said immediately, shaking his head.

Though the idea of letting the demon back in your head scared you, you knew it was the best way to draw her in. "I'll do it."

"Y/N, no. You can't do that. What if she uses the connection against you or hurts you?" Dean said, turning and holding you by the shoulders.

"Dean, I'm lucky I even got to live after that demon was inside me. I'm not going to waste the opportunity to take her down and risk you guys getting hurt. I'm doing it."

Dean's eyes softened, and he leaned in and kissed you on the forehead. "Okay, but we have to be smart about this. I'm not losing you, okay?"

You smiled at him and turned to Cas and Sam. "Okay, so what's our smart plan?"


End file.
